the search for certainty

At the core of reality lies a constant struggle between chaos and order—a fundamental duality of good and evil. God is the doer of all that is good, and Satan, the tempter, is the origin of evil. God, therefore, acts through us humans, being made in His image and likeness, to impart order onto reality. However, the struggle between chaos and order is akin to a pendulum. There is a constant swing. Too much order allows for overabundance, or supra-abundance, which leads to excess and often totalitarian rule. In these prosperous times, systems become too large and overly complex, reducing their efficiency and effectiveness, which in turn leads to rigidity and waste. In humans, these times of excess lead to weakness of mind, body, and soul. When we are in the throes of abundance, we do not face struggle or uncertainty. We do not need to fight against a cold, hard reality, which, ironically, would keep us in fighting shape. As these times persist, we forget, generationally, what it was that got us here. We throw the baby out with the bathwater, not intentionally, but via negative (via negation). We, as humans and our society, rot because we become amnesiac of our history. As the saying goes, strong men make strong societies, but then those realities make men weak.

We live in an era of post-supra-abundance, sleepwalking along, fat and happy, moving from one dopamine hit to the next. We live lives of anti-social fervor, again by negation. We are so caught up, so distracted, so busy with precisely nothing that we do not take the time or effort required to form deep and lasting relations with ourselves, God, or others. We continue to walk down this road, like Lemmings, being led to our certain and imminent demise as the chaos in our society and world continues to increase. Luckily, as of late, it seems like a few of us have lifted our heads from our ostrich holes and pulled our eyes from our telescreens to see what’s going on. It’s at that moment that one emotion above all others strikes us deep in our soul and psyche, that of fear. We humans are extremely afraid of chaos because it represents the unknown. The unknown fundamentally contains all threats to our well-being. We excel at working together in small, fundamental groups, often referred to as tribes, to combat the chaos of reality. However, as technology advances, and we are continually sold the falsehood that we are individuals capable of self-reliance, we continue to move down the road of becoming more fractured. So, this begs the question: when we, the ostrich, pull our head out of the sand and realize that we are careening toward a cliff, what is it that we are to do?

If we believe reality will only get more chaotic, then we question, why save for tomorrow? Why not just live for today? Being present and living in the moment is a tool and has its place. But when we take this idea to its logical end, pleasure becomes the aim. This produces what I like to call a tumbleweed. This is a person who rolls around from one pleasurable experience to the next. Commitment is not in their vocabulary, and delay of gratification only leads to temper tantrums. I speak of this type of life from experience, which I am just now realizing the impact it has had on my life. We humans need some semblance of certainty. We need to believe that tomorrow will be at least as good, if not better than today. There is a glimmer of hope here, because it seems more humans are fleeing to places where they presume a certain outcome.

If pursuing ideologies that help us feel more certain about the future would help us navigate this tumultuous time, then where should we look? We can take the moral high ground and aim at virtue. The idea is not so that we can become better than others, or so that we can virtue signal, but it’s so that we might become better than we once were. Virtue is an antiquated term used by many ancient philosophers. It’s also the basis for all Christian Doctrine. We can reorient our lives to strive for a greater good, all the while pulling a sort of certainty into our lives. We can begin to follow a system that has been around for centuries. A system that has built the largest and most abundant societies of all time. Christianity is the ultimate antidote to chaos. It also tells us who and how we should be, which greatly reduces anxiety and existential dread. It invites us into a life of virtue and love.

Now, love is a tricky one. Here, it does not mean haphazard self-indulgence, such as the hippies' “peace and love” might suggest. With the Christian form of love comes responsibility. For example, this type of love indicates that when a friend of ours is ruining their life with drugs or alcohol, the virtuous thing to do is to tell them, to give them some tough love and guidance. Following Christ does not mean we can do whatever we want. His love invites us to do what we ought to do. This could very well mean dying for what we believe. At the very least, it means controlling our impulses and not giving in to every animalistic urge that we have. This path is not an easy one, but it is the one that will ultimately lead us out of the hell we are creating in the long run.

Now, for the record, I should state and make it clear that I am no saint. I have friends currently destroying themselves with their abuse of alcohol, and I say nothing. And as I write this, I am smoking a cigar. I am a human, not without vice or shortcomings. But the beauty of Christianity is that we get to walk with Christ, and that He loves us a priori (from what is before). We don’t have to do anything to be worthy of His love. We are worthy of His love because we have been made in the image and likeness of God. There is also another extremely important component that accompanies love, and that is hope. As we live in a time of excess and increasing chaos, we mustn’t lose hope.

The opposite of hope is despair. That is the ONLY sin against the Holy Spirit. I fall into this trap often. I fall into this trap when I am alone and feel trapped by the overbearing, order-creating system that we have in our society today. I live much of my life feeling like I am in a straitjacket. I want to forge more and deeper relationships with people in the world, but I am currently sitting alone in a cabin in the woods. I want more material prosperity so that I can feel a little bit more secure, but I’m crushed by debt and a servant of various financial institutions. I have fallen victim to many of the same trappings that we have all been ensnared by.

It’s only when I turn to God, our Heavenly Father, that within these worldly circumstances I can be set free. I can realize that because I am human, I am enough. I no longer must perform for others like a circus monkey. I can also become a part of a system of traditions, morals, values, and beliefs that transcend me, automatically making me a part of a group larger than myself. I, because I am human, belong to the Kingdom of God.

Recently, I’ve been struggling to hear the Voice of God, and I’ve been struggling to feel His love. But I know without a doubt that it is there. I understand that this time is a fundamental test of my faith. I feel deeply driven to spread His message to others, especially men, because I have been downtrodden, lost, broken, and beaten down by the chaos of life and this world. I yearn to connect with other men so that they know that they are not alone, as I have often felt. This world is a cold and dark place. Life is imbued with pain and suffering, but it all has meaning through the suffering that Jesus Christ experienced on the cross. I want to walk with you on your journey, your search for certainty.

My weapon of choice happens to be the pen, but we all need to figure out what our strengths, our gifts are. It’s then through the virtuous path that we can share those gifts with others with an aim of selfless service. We are living in increasingly chaotic times, which can be viewed in two ways. The first through the lens of despair. We can see that we are at the end times. We can give up, throw up our hands, and ask: What’s the point? Or we can see the opportunity. We can take responsibility and do our part to continue to strive toward a life of genuine virtue. We are all sinners, we are all imperfect beings, but we have been given a way, a path to find perfection through our brokenness. We can continue to repent for our sins and to pray that we might gain the strength and the grace to sin no more. We can choose to continue to fight our way back to the correct path, and that is what God wants for us more than anything else. For me, it's a tough choice, but it's the right one. Through Him, all things can and will be done.